HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY ETHAN!!

Mommy and Ethan

Ok sing with me - Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday Dear E-THAN... Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu!!!! :-)  WOW! I can't believe a year has already gone by and my little man is a whole 1 year old!  What a difference a year makes, huh?  I know I know, I didn't blog as much as I had planned and you are probably thinking - yeah, the last time we saw him, he was 5 month old?  Not much of a "chronicle" huh? LOL.  Well I'll make this one of my New Year's Do Betters (no more resolving - just do better!! LOL) and get on the stick of blogging more. I don't want him to be in college and this have been your last image of him.  Yes, I'll do better.
So while today is Ethan's official birthday, we did start the celebration a little bit early and had a small little something on yesterday (Sunday).  While I was positive I wasn't going to pull out all the stops for his 1st (he won't remember a thing anyway, and I wasn't going to stress out over it), I was going to make sure that there was some type of celebration!  I come from a family that loves to party. Ask any one of us and ask anyone who know us.  We always celebrate the Big birthdays by having big parties. And if you know even a little bit about me you know I LOVE birthdays!!!  So I was surely going to celebrate in some way.  Now once he starts to understand what is happening, we are going to PARRRRRTAY!!:-)   But in the meantime, I did a few things to commemorate the occasion and to make sure I took pictures for keepsakes. 

Since I wasn't doing a BIG celebration, I thought I would use this time to channel my inner Betty Crocker. Believe it or not, I made his cake. :-) Ok,  no it wasn't from scratch and my inner Betty was literally a Betty Crocker box cake, but I made it none the less.  I tried my hand at some decorating skills and I must say, it turned out pretty well

Fresh from the oven

Finished Product

I added a few more touches of decoration, invited a few family members and close friends over and we were ready for a good time celebrating Ethan! 

Daddy and Ethan (pre-party)

Table Cloth

Decorations (I think Ethan was helping too - LOL)

Why are these people looking at me?

It was a great party and we had a wonderful time.  Ethan had no clue what was going on. He just stared at everyone.  He didn't slam his hand into the cake as we had planned. We had to help him even put his hands on it and put it to his mouth. You can tell by the picture that he was even unmoved by that. LOL. But he soon got the hang of it and even did a "yum" sound when he was eating it. - That was just for me I think. And yes he did say "yum" or "ooh" or something - I have it on tape.. :-)

Thanks for the memory Dad.

All in all it was a great day! I must admit, the day was also emotional.  I couldn't help but to think about my dad pretty much all day. I know if he had been living, he would have moved heaven and earth to be there.  Even if he couldn't make it, I imagined calling to let him know that I had made the cake.  He probably would have said I should have done it from scratch but he would have been proud all the same.  I got a little teary-eyed even making it.  Fond memories of my dad in the kitchen making his famous pound cake came flooding back as I was blending my own cake. My sisters and I would anxiously await his finish so we could have a field day licking the mixing bowl, spoons and blender utensils.  I had to take a moment when I was done blending to take a snapshot - He would have been so proud.





What a blessing this first year has been! I am so so so very thankful to have this little boy in my life.  Some say that now he's a toddler.  I guess. I don't know if I'm ready for the T-word. I can already see it though.  He's gotten so big and long.  Tomorrow will only solidify that as it will be another major milestone - the HAIRCUT.  I'll post again tomorrow to let you know how that went as well as put up a picture. He's going to look so different and I'm going to miss that wild hair.  Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!  Year TWO.... Here we come.......

Until next time...
Marcia

The Greatest Man in the World

On Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 my life as I knew it changed forever. Without warning or preparation, I said Goodbye to my father. It was the saddest day of my life. I replay it over and over in my head and still have trouble this very minute accepting the fact that he's gone. I felt like my heart was cracked open like a pecan, someone snatched out the good part and left just the shell in broken pieces - empty and hollow. At least that is how I felt momentarily. It's hard to type without floods and floods of memories coming to my mind. But I know I need to write, "They" say it's therapeutic. We'll see...


They're supposed to live forever.
For some unknown reason or maybe it was my childlike belief in this area, but I thought my parents would live forever. Or at least when they died, they would be very old and from natural causes. No sudden deaths were in my future.. Nah ah. Not me. That was for everyone else. I'm good at consoling and praying for people. And even though, it is now my reality, the path that I know too many have traveled on before me is quite rocky, unsteady and painful. "They" say it gets smoother as you go along. We'll see...

We had plans.
The last time I saw my father was a good time! We met up with my parents on a Sunday at the end of June in Dalton Ga. It was half way for both of us. It was a FABULOUS time. We had breakfast at the Cracker Barrell and later Ezra and I snuck off to see a movie while the Grandparents enjoyed some QT with their grandson. I truly didn't want to leave, but we had to go. We promised to do it more often - maybe make it our meeting place on a regular basis. We had big plans.

July 3oth was the last time I spoke with my Dad. We were making more BIG plans. Big ones! :-) My birthday was on the 6th and my anniversary was on the 11th. We would be celebrating 10 years of marriage. Big deal that deserved BIG plans!! LOL. The plan was to travel home to Augusta, visit a minute, drop off Ethan and keep going to Charleston, SC, about 2.5 hours away. I hear Charleston is a very lovely romantic town. I was looking forward to our visit and honestly a couple of days of R & R. My Dad was asking for the 3rd time when I was coming home. I'm no fool, he didn't care about me. He couldn't wait to see Ethan or E-MAN as he affectionately called him. For some reason he had in his mind I was coming the weekend of my birthday. So our conversation - with lots of jokes and laughter, was updating him on the true plan :-) . To keep it clear, my mom marked the calendar at home to denote my arrival and departure. He was making his own set of plans to kidnap Ethan and put his getaway scheme in motion. It was a running joke we had. We laughed. I did that alot with my Dad.

Plans change.
But on August 2nd all of that changed. My father had a seizure during a routine Doctor's. visit. It's more involved than that, but too much to go into now. A few hours later, my dad was gone. Needless to say, my birthday was bittersweet. We had cake and ice cream. My family sang Happy Birthday and I made it though the day. On August 9th, instead of arriving in Augusta to execute my "Big Plans", I laid my father to rest. The calendar at home is still showing my mom's marking "August 9th: Marcie Arrives. August 12th: Marcie Leaves". I did leave on August 12th looking to get back home to some semblance of normalcy. I wasn't ready for this new life.

Memories at every turn
Since then, I've tried to start life over. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, but almost every move I make brings about some memory of my father. We were very close. He was a good father. He seemed to have made his way into every aspect of my life. My son looks a lot like him and with similar builds. I think about him all day everyday trying to hold tight to the memories because I know I won't get to make any new ones. I've held it together for the most part, but there are some days where the tears are going to flow no matter what and I let them. "They" say it's apart of the process. We'll see...

The Greatest Man in the World
There was a running discussion between my Dad and I - especially when I was a little girl. It went something like this (in a loving embrace)....
Dad: Who's the Greatest Man in the World?
Me: YOU are the Greatest Man in the World
Dad: Ok then (with hugs and kisses)

The day after the funeral, I wrestled again with a gamut of emotions. For a moment I was disappointed. I thought the funeral was lovely but I felt like something was missing. I wished more stories had been told about who he was, how funny he was, etc. The people needed to know. I wasn't sure we had done him justice. I thought for a moment that I should have spoken. I had come up with all sorts of stories I would have told and how I would have had everyone laughing... just like my dad did. I wanted a funeral do-over for a split second. I shared this with Ezra who warned me not to dwell on the past - especially that one. He said "You're trying to convince people who already know him, how cool he was. That audience didn't need convincing... they knew". "But maybe I should have spoken", I responded. "I would have said this story this way and then said that". My husband calmly spoke directly to what was truly deep down inside. He said "No one knew him better than you all did. That's Superman. And No one can adequately describe Superman like you can." And that was it. He WAS Superman - The GREATEST Man in the World.. and no one was ever going to know or love him like I did.

I'll see him again.
I'm so thankful that my last time visiting with my father was so much fun and the last time talking to him was the same. Light and jovial. He knew without a doubt that I loved him alot and I don't live in regret of what I should have said or done with him. As a believer in Christ, I know this is not the end. All of what "they" say I'm sure is true, it will take some time, I will cry alot and this writing HAS been therapeutic.:-) But the one thing I hold on to more than anything is what the Bible says and that is that I will see him again in heaven. And that gives me all the comfort and joy in the world.

Until that time... Goodbye Daddy - I love you!


Marcia
1st Thessalonians 4:13-18
¹³ Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. ¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. ¹⁵ According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words.

FIVE.... well kinda

I missed it! :-( I had every intention of posting this blog on yesterday. I started around this same time (about 8:40am central) and was on a roll. Then I got sidetracked. But I kept remembering that I needed to finish and I had every intention of doing so. But a couple of minutes after midnight, after putting Ethan down for the night (long story for another post), I laid my head down on my pillow and my eyes popped open - I didn't finish my post. And guess what? It's now May 6th. Oh welll.. I dare not let a good post go to waste so here is what I started and I will pick it up where I left off. Hope you enjoy! :-)

May 5th, 2011 @ about 8:45am
Hello Friends!!
I've missed you all! Though many of you I have chatted with up to this point, I must say I have missed communicating this way to everyone. Have you missed me??? LOL Oh I know, I have taken my back seat. You miss ETHAN! Well here's a current pic (taken today) of my little pumpkin, growing by leaps and bounds.

It has been exactly 3 months to the date since my last post and my "lil shuga booga" is 5 months old today. I thought it quite interesting that he is 5 months old on the 5th day of the 5th month of the year. So I figured I'd title this blog FIVE. And since I have been gone for so long and there is so much I could say, this was a great way to for me to narrow my thoughts down to 5 impactful, fun and insightful things I have learned so far - in no particular order. Not that I have only learned 5 things, but that is probably all you can read in one sitting - and probably all I have time to write. :-)

1) There is a such thing is a Baby Hog:
.... and his name is Ezra! :-) It's a running joke we have in our house - Ezra is an Ethan hog!! :-) I really can't move fast enough. I've awakened in the middle of the night to see that Ezra has already gotten up and is half way done with changing him. Sundays should really be my day of rest because it's the Daddy and Ethan all day long. If Ethan falls asleep with Dad, he's held for the duration of his nap (Mom puts him in the crib and does about 50 other things while he is asleep. LOL).
While all of these things are very true and maybe comical - they are very lovely to me. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband who is with me every step of the way.

May 6th, 2011 @ about 8:45a,... The load has been lightened tremendously with Ezra's help and I am so grateful for that.

2) The dishes will still be there tomorrow... and the next day...
I don't really like washing dishes. Every chance I get, I am loading my dishwasher. But then I don't really like to UNLOAD the dishwasher LOL. It used to be that I would put on some music or a motivational CD and go to town on the kitchen and the rest of the house - with nothing but time on my hands. But while I don't like the dishes and admittedly did not do them everyday in the past, for some reason, not being about to get to them now, bothers me. It's like now more than ever, I want the kitchen to be spotless all the time. Which I know is totally obsessive! I don't like seeing dishes pile up because I know I don't have as much time as I used to, to get to them. I am afraid they will be TOTALLY out of control. And subconsciously I think it signifies to me that I have lost control of something (not sure what though). But I am learning that it's really ok. I manage to get to them, or Ezra will clean them. The world won't come to an end and I am not a bad wife, mother and housekeeper because I haven't done the dishes yet. It's still a work in progress but I'm getting there.

3) I have a child... and he looks like me!
I keep wondering if it will be discovered that God let one slip out and it landed with us! LOLOL. But seriously, I sit in awe everyday of the fact that we have a son. And say what you want, but he looks like me! Come on give it up.. He has my eyes and the eyes make up the face right?? LOL. Well yes, he has my eyes, but Ezra's distinct eyebrows which can confuse people. I know, I know, that got you too, right? Well let me help you - Ethan is MY mini-me... LOL All jokes aside, he really is a beautiful mixture of both of us - which is precisely why on any given day we can hear that he looks like either one or the other. True story - I was at my church one day and two women were looking at Ethan and both said at the exact same time - "He looks just like ..." One named me and the other named Ezra. And then they both looked at each other in disbelief. It was funny. But looks aside, this journey so far has been a whirlwind and an adjustment. But as every mom has said in the past and I am happy to cosign - it is SOOOOOOOOOO worth it!

4) Baby Gas is lethal
Gunshot wound my foot, Osama was probaby killed by baby gas! LOL. I had heard that once the baby starts solids, the smell from the "dirty" diapers is pretty bad. WHEW!!!! I literally almost fell over at the smell once. Ethan released a toxic, toxic fume while he was "uncovered" and WOH!!!!!! I could hardly catch my breath. I stumbled around coughing and looking dumbfounded as Ethan watched innocently with an expression that said "Mom... really???" I don't know when babies start to smell but if he could smell it, he would have fumbled around too. I had smelled it before since he has been on solids and it is BAD when he is fully clothed. But at it's purest form - it's lethal! I think the government could use it for interrogations. I know I would talk.. quickly!!

5) A Baby's smile is God's way of saying.. "It's ok"
It's 4:00am and you have just gotten BACK to sleep good and then you hear it ...."waaaaaahhhhhhh" So here I am stumbling out of bed over to the bassinet to console my little prince. I'm barely awake and SO tired being that it's the second time up tonight. I'm a little cranky too because sleep is eluding me. The light is dim and I am trying to be quiet so as not to give him the idea that it's time to get up and be active. I am going through the motions of changing the diaper - concentrating on being quick. And then it happens - I look down at his sweet little face and he flashes the BIGGEST grin. :-) At that time, I forget that I'm sleepy or that the clothes need to be washed, dishes cleaned, calls to be made, etc, etc. No - at that moment, nothing matters but taking care of him. The stuff I'm worried about will all be there tomorrow and guess what? It's really all OK! :-)


Until next time.... (which will be sooner hopefully :-))
Marcia

What's IN a Name?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN! :-)

Today, February 5th, is Ethan's 2-month birthday. At this very moment, as I type he was about 25 minutes old. I had held him only for a few minutes by now but he was soon whisked away to be tended to by the nurses. And now a whole 2 months has passed. Technically today is his second "booga month" birthday. He's my lil "Shugabooga" (because he is the sweetest thing EVER and give the SWEETEST kisses!). So we celebrate "booga months". :-) So happy 2nd Booga month Ethan! I'll show this to his little girlfriend at 16 and totally embarrass him. Better yet, I'll call him that in front of her. Ooooh, I'm bad! LOL

But the walk down memory lane - remembering his birth, reminded me that I hadn't given you the full explanation for his name. Ok ok, you might be thinking - Ethan is common enough, what more could there be to it? MUCH more! And so the story goes....

ETHAN: STRONG, POWERFUL
Long before I became pregnant we had a name. We called it often in reference to our future bundle of joy. We kept it close to the vest though for various reasons but between us, the name was a done deal, all we needed was the kid. The only problem was, the name was for a girl. We thought for sure that would be our first child since we had been divinely given the name so early in advance. But once we found out we were pregnant, it was clear that we needed a boy's name. After all, it was a 50-50 chance that it would be a boy. :-) So what would be his name??

I had been given a Names book when I became pregnant. I have always been fascinated with names and what they mean. I think they should be well thought out because after all, you will call that person that for the rest of their life. I believe that what you are called over and over again - you become or adapt to that. So names are very important. At first, I thought I had convinced Ezra that a JR was in order. He was ok with it for oh about 2 minutes, but he never wanted a JR and I couldn't blame him. So I turned to the book- which by the way has a GAZILLION names in it. So it was a PROCESS to look through them, but when I came to Ethan, I instantly connected with it. It's meaning was wonderful - ETHAN mean Strong and powerful. I like that. I wanted those to be a characteristics of my son. And I liked the name and so did Ezra. But little did we know that this too was a divine intervention. You see, thanks to a Bible Crossword puzzle book that we were doing at the time, we learned that Ethan was a biblical character. Ethan was an Ezrahite - a follower of Ezra the prophet. Woh, talk about JR on a new level! LOL. Not only was he an Ezrahite, but he was VERY wise, compared to Solomon himself - (who took wisdom to another level) - LOL). Check out 1Kings 4:31. A little more research showed that he was musically inclined possible a cymbal player in David's choir, even dabbling in writing songs himself. It is believed that he wrote the beautiful Psalm 89. At that point we knew - we're having an Ethan :-)

GRADY: NOBLE, ILLUSTRIOUS
I never had an opportunity to meet or to know Ezra's father, Grady, but for some reason I miss him. He passed away suddenly shortly after Ezra and I started dating. And because I never got to know him, I feel like there is a part of Ezra that I will never know. But what I do know is that his father was his Hero. He was VERY close to his father who was very instrumental in making him the wonderful man he is today. But not only was he important to Ezra and his immediate family but it just seems like this man touched a lot of lives in a positive way. When I am around the family (mother OR father's side), they speak so fondly of him. He was well loved and well respected. He was a father figure to many in the family. He was the go-to guy and he was about business. He was well respected in the community as a business leader and a servant leader at their church. He seemed to be a great man and from what Ezra tells me, we would have had a lot in common as well. He was such an important part of their lives (as a father should be) that we wanted to continue the lineage through Ethan. That being said Grady is Ethan's middle name. I love the balance that it gives his name. GRADY means noble and illustrious. It seems that Ezra's Dad lived true to his name and those same characteristics we want for Ethan as well.

So that's Ethan - Strong powerful, noble and illustrious, and many other wonderful characteristics. And he is already living up to his name. He has been trying to hold his head up since he was a week old. He legs are super strong as well. But do we expect?? we call him "strong" constantly, so he can't help himself! :-)

Well it's been fun sharing but while "Strong" is sleeping, "Brave" needs to be laying down too. So with that I will say Goodnight!

Until next time....
Marcia

5 weeks down, a Lifetime to go

One month milestone met with flying colors!

On last Wednesday - January 5th, my little "EGG" turned 1 month old! A whole month has gone by already! On Sunday, January 9th, he was officially 5 weeks old. WOW! It's like time is flying and standing still all at the same time. I mean, on some days it seems that we are further along than a month and some days it's like - WOH a month has already passed. It is still taking a minute to get used to it all.

In celebration of his one month birthday, Ethan got a good report from the pediatrician for his 1 month check-up. He's gained a whole 2 lbs and 2 inches. Praise the Lord, everything looks good. Now, if we can just get him to sleep a TINSY bit longer at night.... :-)

While 5 weeks have already come and gone, I recall that I still have a lifetime ahead of me. Though that sounds like a long time, I am told over and over again to "savor each moment because they grow up so fast". I know this all too well. I look at my nieces and nephews and my friends' children and can't believe that they are at their ages. I have a niece about to go to college. She is actually the same age that I was when SHE was born. I remember changing her diaper and being mesmerized that she was so little and her cute little coos and smiles. Now she is going to college.. Yeeesh!

So I have been literally trying to savor the moment. Every day, I take some time to look at him and take it all in and hope the minutes go by a little slower. I know my little man won't be this little for very long and I am looking forward to the days when he starts to crawl, walk and talk. And one day I will gush over his little person. :-) But until then, I'm content with him curling his little body into the bend of my arm, nestling close for a nap without a care in the world. Yeah.... for now.. that works for me :-)

Until next time...
Marcia

Just the Beginning

It's been a month since my last post and I am sure I don't need to tell you where I have been or what I have been doing... LOL. You can only imagine. I have tried almost every week to post something but "someone" or something always needs my attention. :-) Well I said that today - it being Sunday especially - I would make SURE I took time out to say - All is well and we are just getting started...

On Sunday, December 5th @ 9:36pm, my life as I knew it changed forever. When they put that little person on your chest for the first time - it is true - you DO forget the previous 21 hours of labor. Yes I said 21 hours. But I wouldn't say that was consistent hours. Labor contractions were off and on and believe it or not, I only pushed for 30 minutes but that is for another blog. :-)

But back to life as I knew it and it changing forever... It has been a whirlwind but all good! I am sleepy right now, so I will make this quick. Ethan Grady (his formal name - also for another blog) is a sweet, sweet, sweet and I can't wait for each of you to meet him. I plan to put pictures up soon as well but he is changing so rapidly sometimes I want time to just stand still for a minute but I know he has to grow up - as did I. I am looking forward to that as well.

So I just wanted to let you know that I am here and wanted to touch base. Again, I'll post pictures soon and update the blog again with more info. But right now... its night night time :-)

Until then....
Marcia

Countdown to Baby G!

Hello All!
Of course you know where I have been!! :-) I have been making much needed preparations for Baby G. The last item on my To-do list is complete and I can now say that I am TRULY in the "waiting phase".

Since I last posted I have been a BUSY bee! We finished up our childbirth/breastfeeding classes. All of which were wonderful and eye opening. So much to remember though. I hope I don't forget anything. But I am assured that it will all come back to me when the time comes. I hope so! In the midst of the classes, we moved the last weekend in October. We are in a FABULOUS place that we love! (See, a little prayer and patience go a long way! :-)) Remember that I was holding out for a garage? Well I found a lovely place in a great area with a garage AND a room that had already been painted the baby blue that I wanted. Now how COOL is that! Our new home is completely unpacked and everything has and is in its place (thanks to Mom for helping out with that - could NOT have done it without you!).

Meanwhile, my family and friends threw a baby shower for us that was earlier this month and it was WONDERFUL! I have such an AMAZING family and a GREAT group of friends who blessed us in so many ways with such wonderful gifts and contributions to Baby G. The shower timing was perfect as my nesting phase of cleaning and preparing kicked in around that time and everything had to be done like yesterday! And it was! My husband is the MAN!! He has been so helpful through all of this - putting stuff up, taking it down, rearranging it, putting it back, AND still working every day! He is the GREATEST! And so I am happy to say the house is done - the baby's room is done my bag is packed, the baby seat is in and safely anchored. We're ready! Now the question is... when??

As of Today, my due date is exactly 7 days away! How exciting!! It is possible that within this week, I will be a bonified NEW mom! Though, I think Baby G will go all the way to his due date - December 5th. At least that was our deal! :-)

Are you ready? Are you scared? Are you nervous? I don't have a hard and fast answer to those questions. It's a mixed bag of emotions for me right now. I guess where I am now is the fear of the unknown. I probably should have left some things undone so I would have something else to focus on because right now, I am literally waiting on an experience in which I have never embarked upon before. No one can really prepare you and I try not to dwell on the horror stories. But other than that, I am excited. I am looking forward to seeing what he will look like. The 4-D ultrasound was done almost 4 months ago, and I am sure he has changed drastically since that time. So I am excited about that. And honestly I am excited about this new journey of becoming a mom. I am looking forward to all that it brings and entering the world of parenthood!

All in all, I am just excited! I would venture to say the next time you hear from you, Baby G will have arrived. I can't wait for him to meet all of you! :-) In the meantime, let me get some rest, while the getting is still good. Stay tuned. :-)

Until next time....
Marcia