Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

"Crying is like taking your soul to the laundry mat" - Lyfe Jennings

Friday, October 8th at around 3:30am - I was supposed to be getting up preparing to head out to Charlotte, NC for a conference. Instead, I am still lying in the bed... mad! I was excited about going to the conference, but I just didn't want to leave that early. We didn't get into bed until after 11pm and 4 hours later we were supposed to be leaving to travel 7 hours to NC. Thursday had been a long full day. Ezra had a long work day and I had been my own busy bee. Drs Appt, hair salon, run a few errands, get Tux off to the sitter, child-birth class (where with no prior warning they showed "THE VIDEO" - I'll get back to this). Class didn't end until after 9pm. I didn't think a 3am leave time was wise, especially since Thursday was slammed and we hadn't gotten much sleep. Not to mention, I don't like night driving. It makes me sleepy. And my husband can sometimes get sleepy driving around during the day (LOL). So in my mind, this wasn't the best plan.

So I lay in bed contemplating my next move as he continues to prepare to leave. Hmmmmm I could just lay here, go back to sleep until I am ready to go which would be about 2 hrs from now LOL - Surely he won't leave me. Why this early????? I'm tired, I know he's tired. This is neither safe, nor wise. It's dark out and I'm sleepy. Ok I'll just lay here and go back to sleep. But that will just make it worse. Baby G - are you up too? I know.. it's early. When it comes time for you to make your debut - I am going to need you to just slide on out. Those women seemed to be in a lot of pain. What have I done??? Am I really having a baby? Time is flying... We still don't have a place to live (I couldn't do the green carpet). I have to pack, but what if I can't find a place? Is my body really going to expand like that?? Ooohhh it looked like so much pain! I'm so sleepy, I'm tired, I'm..... crying?? Stop the ride... I want to get off RIGHT HERE!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.. Ok it was not "shoulder jerking crying" but it was a good cry. It was as if my thoughts were someone filling up a cup with water, and but they didn't know when to stop so it started to overflow and spill out.

It would be my first cry during my pregnancy. I am told every pregnant woman has at least one. See, I am not by nature a "crier" as one would call it. I am very sensitive (contrary to popular belief), but I tend to handle things differently. I just don't cry easily. But on this occasion, a cry was warranted and was coming whether I wanted it to or not. And I needed it. As I quoted in the subtitle - it was truly like going to the laundry mat. After I was done, I was done and I felt a TON better. It was almost as if I had come out "clean" and renewed. I looked at everything differently. I prayed - Ok God, keep him awake and if you don't then we just deal with what comes of that. I know we will find a place and I will get it all done - I'm not worried anymore. And finally Lord, Childbirth is what it is, and I am going to be just fine. I just can't wait to see my son and I'll be excited about it all rather than be afraid.

And with that prayer, I was done. I had left the laundry mat and my soul was refreshed and clean. As you can see, we made it there and back safely. We found a FABULOUS place (God always has a ram in the bush:-)). My friend Stephanie is my witness - the stairs where we are now are NOT your friend. And finally, I am no longer worried about birthing my baby! (at least not today) :-)

As for the video - you can see how it weaseled its way into my thoughts. It must have been heavy in my subconscious because I am thinking I am mad about leaving early and I start thinking about childbirth. I knew the video was coming but I thought it would be a few classes later. I couldn't tell you how the other men in the class were reacting. I was focused on one - mine! And he looked like (and even verbalized) "What have I done???" We both could do nothing but laugh - which lightened the mood.

We've got two more classes and then one on breastfeeding and classes are done. This week is the hospital tour. I am excited about that. Next weekend, we move to our new home. We'll unpack, we'll get settled and then we'll wait for Baby G. As always, I'll keep you posted.

Until next time....
Marcia