"For you created BABY G's inmost being; you knit him together in MY womb. I praise you because BABY G is fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139: 13-14 (liberties taken :-))
Hmph! I have read Psalms 139 many times and while it always blesses my soul, it came to life so clearly for me recently. "Fearfully and Wonderfully made" - these were the only words that I heard in my head day in and day out after seeing my son for the second time. They are the only words that I have been able to use to describe this overwhelming feeling of carrying another human being.
I saw his face. On last Tuesday, I went for a second ultrasound expecting it to be the routine black and white images. I was excited nonetheless because I would get to see him again and even though the images are black and white, it IS 3-D and I can actually see him moving as well. He yawned, blew air bubbles (or amniotic fluid bubbles LOL) and moved around alot as usual.
At first my US tech wasn't very chatty. I guess they like to concentrate on what they are doing and make sure they get it right. But it's just so darn quiet in there and you know me.. I like to talk. So I started to make small talk with her - babies, work, what she was looking at, etc. When near the end, she told me that she would do a 4-D ultrasound for me. 4-D??? I didn't expect that. I had seen 4-D on the internet and in books and thought it would be neat to experience it but figured I'd better stick with what they give me. But she flipped a switch (I guess) and there he was - in the literal flesh. At first I couldn't make him out. She was trying to point out the nose and the mouth and it all just looked like a bunch of flesh to me. She keep moving the machine and then there he was... a magnificent picture of his FACE - up close and personal. GASP!! Yes, I literally gasped and she laughed a bit. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I said - over and over again. He looks just like... well I won't tell you... I've got to keep you wondering about some things right??? :-)
But that sweet face was absolutely beautiful to me. It was as if seeing him in the way made him even more real than he already is. And then it came to me "Fearfully and wonderfully made". And so that is what I think of every time I see his face - which is posted up in my bedroom for me to look at often (she was kind enough to give me a printout).
From that moment on, emotions ran the gamut. I was humbled. The Lord had chosen me to carry this person that He loves so much already. Would I be a good mom? Am I ready (too late now.. LOL). Three more months and life as I know it today is a WRAP. :-) God.. what were you thinking???? Are you sure about this??? You might be laughing and I did too, after I came to my senses.
But even in the midst of these emotions, I heard the words ever so sweetly whispered "fearfully and wonderfully made" And I tell you friends, my thoughts turn in to words of Thanksgiving! Thanking the Lord for allowing me to experience ALL of this process. Thanking Him for knowing all about Baby G well before he made it to my womb because I will definitely need some help in figuring him out. :-) Thanking Him for giving me a glimpse of the "knitting" process. I could go on and on but I'd run out of space. :-) But you are welcome to continue. I know how it can be when you think about the Lord's goodness. So with that, I will end this post but not the praise - "Your works are wonderful... I know that full well"
Until next time
Marcia
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